like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
