Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
