I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
