I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
