It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
