he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
