you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Randomize
