how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You pole danced in your parka.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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