My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
