I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
