how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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