i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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