If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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