bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
