Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
