i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize