what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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