be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
