Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
God, I missed his penis.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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