Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
