Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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