ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
