I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
