Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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