I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
