Yo dont text me then not text me
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I have surprise drugs for everyone
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
