Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
