I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
