He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
