WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
