My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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