I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
