im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Naked Twister starts at high noon
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
