bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
