i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
