What did we do last night that was yellow?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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