He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
