I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
