a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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