i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
