he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
