i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
