So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
