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everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He better not be in your backpack
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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