great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
