this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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