4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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