Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
