i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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