Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
