new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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