i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
