Me too!
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
