i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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