why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
