my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
