Do vagina's smell?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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