Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
