Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(520): View more from Arizona

The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.

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(432): View more from Texas

ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".

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(315): View more from New York

We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.

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(206): View more from Washington

college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars

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(+61): View more from Australia

A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.

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(289): View more from Ontario

"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"

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(619): View more from California

I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..

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(512): View more from Texas

i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.

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