this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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