I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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