I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
