no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
