what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
