I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
