if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
