i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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