you would pick up someone in the library
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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