I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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